I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
