did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm both gender and math confused
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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