Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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