he was CRYING into my vagina
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
FUCK WHALES
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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