its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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