A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
