I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
