idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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