I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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