That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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