i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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