you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
