sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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