is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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