the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
