No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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