And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
