Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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