38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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