When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize