Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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