Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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