Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize