i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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