its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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