Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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