My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
