i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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