we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
