I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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