I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
