I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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