hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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