she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize