i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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