You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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