my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
