so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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