I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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