if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think people are normalizing furries
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
