My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
