The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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