What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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