there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
