She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
