its not stalking. its research.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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