So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
