Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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