fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize