he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
