I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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