I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
