Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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