I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
