How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
