I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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