I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Randomize
