You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
