Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
