Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
