Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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