discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
