what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
