he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
