bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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